How Jakken Gets Mutilated
by sesshyblueyes
Summary: A few stories of how...well Jakken gets killed,beaten,thrashed,disected,destroyed,obliterated,probed stabed,liquified,drained of his organs,smashed,damaged,runined Ect ect ect....and more ect


_6/21/05 (A/N: Me and my friend Caleb 'Caleb waves' Found this so damn amusing…for those of you who hate Jakken this is just pure amusement. And to my dismay some OOC. But I'll try and keep it as good as I can. These are just short stories as to how Jakken manages to get…well Mutilated….over and over and over again. So yes those of you who love Sesshomaru and Rin and Sango and Naraku and Inuyasha and Miroku and Shippo and Ah and Une oh yeah and Kagome but not Kikyo or Jakken so there you have..it right Caleb?  
Caleb: YEAH! Me: Kay lets move on_.  
**Disclaimer… I DO NOT OWN INUYAHSA OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS PRETAINING TO THIS STUPID STORY.**

** How Jakken Gets Mutilated Over and over and over again

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Ryukotsuei was looming as lord Sesshomaru stood underneath his grave. Bound to the cliff with his fathers fang penetrating his heart. It almost reminded him of his idget brother and how he so foolishly fell for a young mortal. Who played on his emotions and betrayed him. He tried shaking off the thought. Inuyasha made his head scream in pain. And at the moment all he wanted to do was shut up the stupid toad rambling. All he could hear was the false praises the imp was uttering. One after the other, of how wonderful and powerful he is. It strained on his pride for him to keep such a worthless creature around. He wasn't much help in battle and could be so annoying. Like the thing that wouldn't shut up.

"Lord Sesshomaru?" The lord winched as this toad croaked his name and waddled over to the cliff side in which Sesshomaru stood. "My lord what is it?"

His one fist clenched causing his nails to cut the flesh on his palm. "Jakken?" His voice was at no tolerance. It was then the little imp came to his heals. Looking up at him with his urine colored eyes. With the huge black slit coming down the middle posing as a pupil.

In a second moment, Sesshomaru's foot collided with Jakken's back. "Accidentally" Exerted too much force for Jakken to stand his ground. And he "accidentally" fell off the "accident" cliff. It was quite sad hearing him scream all the way down. It was then Sesshomaru realized the cliff was a long drop. Jakken would be screaming for some time.

To solve this problem, the graceful lord glided down to Jakken's falling level. Unleashing his claws and slicing the poor bastard in half. Stopping the screaming.

"Finally silence." But there was plopping of his dead corps…but other than that, yes it was silent.

(A/N: next one much better I promise)

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"Rin?" Sesshomaru's hair fell over his shoulders as he turned to see his young follower. His silver strands reflecting in the gold light of morning. 

"Yes?" Her voice was that of excitement and pleased to hear of her lord's wishes.

"You are to stay with Jakken until I return"

"Alright" Once out of sight Rin turned to see Jakken hold the reins of Ah and Une. His face seemed tired, horrified about his lord once again leaving him with this brat. "You know you'll never have a chance with Lord Sesshomaru…he doesn't sleep with animals" This was a consent battle between the two. WHO WILL WIN…SESSHOMARU?

For the convenience of Rin, right next to them was a ridiculously, freakishly large hill, cliff, mountain…thing.

The far corners of her mouth widened. As if he couldn't be stupider…Jakken stood at the far edge of the peak and where it began the long journey down. Jakken felt Rin behind him. What's more he found that he was not only standing on the cliff side but at his death bed. He swallowed. "Rin?" But before another plead could be uttered…she pushed.

Jakken had started falling off the cliff. (What's with all the cliffs?) Into a bush of poisonous insects and weeds. Thoroughly having the acid dripping from the plants and insects eat at his flesh.

Then down slide of shattered glass and jagged rocks. (The whereabouts of the broken glass are unknown to us.)

Soon crashing into a alpaca farmer and his llama thingy (Once again not sure it where it came from) After 15 different events of falling down this clearly dangerous and idiotically deadly hill or cliff. He finally lay at foot of the hill. (Caleb: I thought it was cliff?) Fine, at the foot of the cliff. At dormant of his resting place several demons tore his ligaments along with his vital organs. That were blue. Anyway, soon after they played numerous games involving a ball. Many that weren't invented in Japan yet or anywhere else. And all the other flesh feasting demons lived happily ever after.

(_A/N: We will end this for now….but tell us what you think and we'll try and find more ways to torture Jakken thanks guys! Later! Caleb: Yeah later guys)_


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